For The Low Low Price Of $125,000 Idiots Can Take A Two Hour Trip To Space Via A Balloon

(NYP)--A new startup called Space Perspective wants to take (a lot) your money and send you toward the stars in a big ole’ balloon. Designed to be an alternative to the fledgling rocket-based space tourism industry, the company’s “Spaceship Neptune” capsules will be packed with paying customers and then carried aloft to a height of approximately 100,000 feet.

It’s just one of several entries into the burgeoning space tourism industry, but whether the startup can pull off what it’s promising is anyone’s guess.

According to the company, the trip to space (well, technically the edge of space), will be relatively brief. Two hours will be spent ascending to the intended altitude and then another two hours will be spent returning to Earth. A window of two hours in between ascent and descent will offer travelers some truly breathtaking views of their home planet.

This one is hard for me. I feel myself getting mad online. Normally I am a big proponent of live and let live. You want to blow your money on a variety of vices, dumbass hobbies, or expensive bullshit to fill the vast empty void in your heart? Knock yourself out. I hope the spending works. We are all out here trying to be a little less miserable. If you have the money for a Ferrari or a massive boat or a diamond watch, go for it. Me, nothing like that really brings me joy which is good because I don't have the money for any of those things. I instead try to find happiness at the end of a mile and a quarter via a betting slip. It seldom works, but the rush is a great distraction from the rest of my life. 

These people though, FUCK them. $125,000 for a two hour trip to space just so you can take some pics of the Earth from space for their social media account. No. I refuse to even look at those pics and I hope that their iphone reflects off the inside of the window of that ballon and gives them a shitty glare and their pictures are ruined. If you have $125,000 to spend on a shitty IG picture and a sick brag then I am sorry, you should be doing something else, something cooler, something better with that money. 

I LOVE space. LOVE. And Earth. Best planet there ever was. Not even sure who would come in second. Not Jupiter's fat ass, not Saturn's stupid rings. I LOVE seeing Earth from space. You ever see Aurora borealis time lapse videos from the International Space Station? It's INCREDIBLE


That google image gif is way cooler than this dumbass balloon. 

Also, if you spend that much to travel to space via balloon...a little flimsy balloon that could be destroyed at any time by any little thing while you're at an altitude of 100,000 feet in the air and you either crash down to Earth or you float off to space and die deserve whatever you get. Little known fact...the US Government once launched a half a BILLION copper needles into space

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Something to think about when you're spending $125k on IG likes