Sam Dekker's Checklist: 1) Declare for the NBA Draft 2) Bang Rihanna

Get it Sam! White boy from Bumfuck Wisconsin getting a lil cocky, love it. Never gonna make it in the league without a little bit of swagger.

About Rihanna though, not gonna lie, this may be kind of a tough sell, but we can do this. First thing we need to do is put together a highlight tape, kind of like you would make in high school to send to interested college coaches, except this one is to one of the world’s biggest pop stars to try to fuck. Just comb through some tourney highlights, conveniently leave out anything from the championship game, send it over to her reps and just wait and see. I think we may have an outside shot if she happens to watch this one stream on replay, let’s just cross our fingers.