Fuck Jordan Spieth And People That Achieve Life Goals

Now before I get into this blog please understand 2 things. 1) I don’t actually hate Jordan Spieth, that headline is to grab you, old Buzzfeed trick and 2) Yes I’m jealous, I fully admit that and don’t run from the fact.

You know what sucked about yesterday’s Masters, the fact that Jordan Spieth just completed his life’s goal at the age of 21. By now I’m sure you’ve seen the clip of a 14 year old Jordan saying his ultimate goal is to win the Masters, this one…

Well guess what buddy, you’re there, you’ve done it, now kindly go fuck yourself. I say this because it made me realize that I have no goals. Yeah I guess when I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a baseball player or an astronaut or the President, but then I got a little older and quickly realized I’m too unathletic, stupid, and lazy to do any of that shit. So what did my new goal become? Nothing, nada, zilch. And I feel like I’m in the majority here. Who the fuck even has a life goal? Make lots of money? Yeah well that’s just a given, everyone wants money, that’s not really a goal per se. I’m talking a real god’s honest life goal. Saying to yourself I want X and then going and getting it. Do people do that? Because I certainly don’t. I’m just floating through life, day to day, week to week, living for Friday afternoon and dying on Monday morning. No goal to achieve but also no goal to fall short of, just sort of here. So fuck Jordan Spieth and his overachieving ultimate goal. I don’t hate Jordan the person, I hate the idea of him and the fact that it reminds me that I’ll never amount to anything substantial in my life. It’s not you Jordan, it’s me.

PS

Really wish modern science didn’t create a cure for balding because even a bald guy will tell you that all the riches and success in the world is great, but what he really wants is his natural hair back.