Who Makes a Hotter Woman, Brady or Stidham?

Earlier Joey posted about this thread of the NFL quarterbacks getting their genders swapped using FaceApp.

In no way am I suggesting he's missing the boat by asking the wrong thing. Because his is a very valid question. And the answer is, yes. I didn't think it was possible, since Jimmy Garoppolo is an astonishingly handsome man. But giving him more feminine features and hair makes him even more attractive. Like if male Jimmy G and female Jimmy G could somehow procreate, their child would redefine human beauty. Like you would not even be able to look straight at it. You'd have to poke a hole in a piece of cardboard like viewing an eclipse. 

But to me there's a deeper, more pertinent philosophical question to be asked. And that is, who makes a better looking woman, Tom Brady: 

… or Jarrett Stidham? 

Tom Lady. Or Jarrett Stidher

It is anything but an easy call. On the one hand, I'm more predisposed to the older ladies. Plus I have history with Brady. Not to mention, like the old J. Geils song goes, "First I look at the purse." When you can accessorize with six rings, that's going to give you a huge advantage over someone who's just out of college, more or less. But still, that No. 4 is a grown woman with great things ahead of her. And when the person in question has so much to offer and seems mature beyond her years, then age just becomes a number. "An old soul," is how some people describe it. I guess the bottom line is that I would follow either of these bright, competent women into battle any time, anywhere.

So since I can't choose, won't choose, I'll go instead with the GILF. I'll take brains over beauty anytime. 


Bill BellaChick for the win. It's right there in her name.