Los Angeles Nightclub Offering Bottle Service Presentation Featuring Scantily Clad Girls In Coffins

Guest of a Guest - In the midst of a deadly pandemic and ongoing protests, restrictions on areas of commerce previously dubbed "nonessential" have been lifting across the country, finally answering the question on everybody's mind: What does a nightclub look like in a dystopia? 

Apparently, it looks like scantily clad servers wearing face masks and popping bottles while popping out of coffins. Hmm... sure, that sounds ridiculous enough to be true considering, well, *gestures broadly.*

Such was the actual scene at L.A.'s Penthouse Day Club, which opened its doors this Sunday for the first time since California lockdowns began back in March. The "soft reopening" came in the form of a brunch party wherein table reservations were mandatory and individual groups were capped at 10 people.

And though face masks seemed to dot the crowd, and appeared to be diligently worn by club employees, any valiant attempts at social distancing were clearly futile. Of course, the measurements between partygoers isn't nearly as alarming as the literal CASKET being paraded around for reasons unbeknownst to us. Could it be a cheeky reference to the risk people are taking with their lives in order to sip some overpriced Armand de Brignac? Or maybe a fun way to commemorate the hundreds of thousands of people who've died from COVID worldwide? Whatever the case, we sure hope that roughly $20,000 spectacle was worth it!

LA always gonna LA.

We've got a chicken and the egg situation here folks.

Is the club more poor in taste here by supplying the coffin and listing the presentation FOR $20,000 on their bottle menu?

Or are the customers that this appeals to more to blame?

If there weren't people out there that think "this will look hella dope on their IG" then listing this on the menu lands with a thud. 

If the club doesn't list it is it even a remote possibility it crosses a guest's mind that they "need their bottles delivered by bikini-clad, mask-wearing chicks in a coffin"?

To be honest, I really don't care. 

I just wanted to hate on LA and post something of people having fun and out enjoying themselves for the first time in 5 months.

If you've got 20k to drop on $180 bottles of champagne have it brought to you however the fuck you want. Be the biggest asshole you can be.

Also, A+ job dropping The Dead Man's music for this coffin procession.

(Almost as good as the time I dropped it at the park when Rizzo came back from the dead 2 days after his ankle snapped in two.)


p.s. - Here are the ladies of PHD that deliver said bottles -