The Premier League Is BACK And I Guess Goals Are No Longer Goals

God damnit I missed the Premier League. I never thought I'd be so excited to watch Villa-Sheffield at 1 pm on a Wednesday, yet here we are. Even just watching the prematch show felt like it was just a much-needed breath of normality back into our lives.

But of course, controversy struck. Everything took a very unexpected turn when Michael Oliver (the ref, for those who don't know) had an absolute blinder and just kind of forgot what a goal was.

If only there was an advanced way to check if a ball crossed the line or not. 

Even without the use of the very expensive, highly discussed goal-line technology that was implemented in the Premier League in  *checks notes* 2013?!? I never would've guessed it has been 7 whole years since the Prem adopted this system but I suppose it's just one of those things you just expect nowadays in soccer.

Which is why it's shocking that there was no VAR check at all. Before coronavirus took the world by storm, they were doing VAR checks with advanced 3D graphics and shit just to determine the most minuscule shit. If a player's pinky finger is just ever-so-slightly offsides, you better believe it's coming back. But a clear and obvious goal? Heavens no. No interest in that whatsoever.

Even without VAR and goal-line technology, you can clearly tell it was a goal. The keeper eats all of the shit in the world. Nyland was literally grasping at the net as he continuously fell into the net. With the ball literally in his hands, against his chest! If that's not a goal then I'm not quite sure what is anymore. Maybe they changed all the rules during this time off and just forgot to tell everyone. 

If you're a Sheffield United fan you're punching the air with the force of a thousand Evander Holyfields. If you support Villa; firstly, I'm sorry. Secondly, you just got away with robbery because it could just be the moment they look back on (should they get any result from this match) as the reason they didn't get relegated.

Since this match doesn't really have any implications other than the relation battle for Villa (and some dreams of European competition for Sheffield), we can just chalk it up as a simple mistake caused by three months of no games. It's no doubt an injustice to Sheffield but it is what it is at this point. I'm just happy to be here.