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BREAKING: Per Reports, NHL Players Are Doing A Whole Lotta Fuckin' In The Month Of November

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The scoring title isn't awarded until the end of the regular season but it sure seems like a bunch of guys in the league are finding the back of the net in November. 

Honestly, I think this needs to be taken into consideration when teams are coming up with their schedules for the season. November should be the one month of the season where teams can't go on any extended road trips or have too many back-to-back games. I mean the November window is perfect, so just let the boys stay focused on getting it on that month. Think about how many players coming into the league these days are legacies. You've got the Tkachuk's, the Nylander's, Max Domi, the list goes on and on. If you let the boys stay focused on baby making in November, you pretty much guarantee a whole new draft class 18 years later. It's just smart business. 

Anyway here's my plea to all you ~*credentialed members of the media*~ back home: please don't make these guys stick around after games in November to answer your silly little questions. I know that you have a job to do but they have some business to attend to back home. Just piece together some random hockey cliches to make up an answer for them. Pucks on net, gotta win the first 5 minutes, stick to our brand of hockey, taking it one game at a time. There ya go, I just got a head start for you. 

@JordieBarstool