I'll Do It. I'll Be the Commissioner for Kyrie Irving's New League

It was something that Kyrie, the Players Association, and I had been discussing in private but I guess the cat is out of the bag now. Once the New Super Cool Guys Only National Basketball Association (NSCGONBA. It is a working title, please bear with us) is up and running, we look forward to your support.

Seeing as the news is already out there, I guess I can give you a taste of the NSCGONBA changes that we will put into effect.

1. The 19-year-old age limit is no more. Go to college if you'd like for as many years as you'd like, but you also have the option to jump straight from high school.

2. The Draft is also gone. No more will ping pong balls decide where elite talent goes. "But some teams will never get the best talent", you may say. To that, I say, "Good".

3. Red Panda is my Deputy Commissioner. She is sick:

4. The salary cap still exists but there is no limit on maximum individual contracts. If you want to pay LeBron James 50% of your annual cap to get him on board, by all means, go for it. Guys will take $30 million a year instead of $35 million to play with their friends because that's the ceiling instituted by the league. Would they take $30 million when they can get $55 million though?

5. Dunks are now worth three points. Take that, nerds. Now, what does your precious corner three mean???

6. If two guys on opposing teams get hot, everyone else has to clear off the court and let them play 1-on-1 for a couple of minutes. Kyrie hits a three. Dame responds with a three. Kyrie hits a crazy layup. Dame hits an absurd stepback. At this point, Red Panda (she's also my head of officiating, for some reason) will clear the court so they can go back and forth at each other until the hot streak runs out.

7. Players have to walk into the arena in their outfits in front of every member of the team. This gives them a chance to be fairly roasted or complimented for getting a fit off.

8. You can SIGN (not draft, which I wrote earlier previously smh) a guy and hold his rights for a year. Say you love a high school kid but he wants to do a year of college. Fine. You can sign him this year and hold his rights while he does a year of college. Your money still comes out of the rookie cap (to be explained later) for that year though. 

9. I hold all veto power over games. If I look on the schedule and see that Utah-San Antonio is the primetime game, I'm saying hell no and getting a better game in there. Or no game at all.

10. Media can apply for credentials but you have to read your latest column about a guy to his face in the locker room. This is mostly for Red Panda and I's enjoyment.

Hit my line, Kyrie.