A Soccer Player Claims He Missed Practice Because He Was ... Abducted By Aliens

[Source] - Lorenzetti told Lado B: "Guillermo says that he arrived late to one training because he was abducted by aliens.

"He gave us the entire explanation of what he felt and the rest of it.

"There are cases where the player says, 'I left and I came back two days later because I was kidnapped by aliens'. But Guille is not that kind of player. Guille was a very proper guy. Everyone knows him." "He explained that they take out your soul, analyse it and all the while on the journey they are looking after you. He said something like that.

Sometimes the headline just writes itself and you don't have to say much. This is one of those times. An Argentinian soccer player missed practice, convinced his teammates he was abducted by aliens and had his soul analyzed. Dude was just gone for a couple of days and his teammates were like yep that checks out. Now I should clarify, just in case aliens read this, I do believe in you. I prefer not to be abducted. I'm good here in my basement. 

But this is the greatest excuse for missing a practice ever right? I've blogged about Ronaldinho missing practices so he could go party and had a nightclub clause in his contract. Great excuse, but nothing like saying you were abducted by aliens. Shit he's not even the first soccer player to claim this though! 

Aliens apparently fucking love Argentinian soccer players. Messi is on high alert. Don't let any aliens near Messi, keep an eye on him. I fucking love this story though. It's just peak soccer. Again, I say this nearly every blog but European/South American soccer is truly THIS LEAGUE. Imagine one person in the US blaming missing practice on being abducted by aliens (it'd be Kyrie). The stories and headlines would last weeks. 

If I'm a coach that's the moment I think about leaving the job. Can't be sitting there wondering if a player is showing up or not because aliens are abducting him. 

PS: Never forget that Zah had a first hand encounter with aliens