Zeke Is Yelling About HIPAA Because Everyone Knows He Got Corona


Oh calm your fat tits, Zeke. Wahhhh, everyone knows I have corona now, wahhhhhh. First of all we all know you got it on purpose because you wanted a competitive advantage and it is the only way you can stop yourself from gaining 50 pounds in the offseason. But secondly, who caresssssssss? You're really that upset people know you got corona? Isn't it...I don't know, 1000000x better that people know you got it and recovered so now if they were in contact with you they can get tested themselves? To answer my own question, yes, yes it is 1000000x better. 


But ol' Sherlock Elliott is over there trying to figure out how it leaked. He has narrowed it down to everyone in the world besides his agent.


So maybe it was one of the million people at all the house parties he's been going to? 



So not only should Zeke be apologizing instead of whining, but he probably killed your grandma by being so reckless. Lock him up for 50 years, Goodell. Shame! Shame!