To quote a very wise dog, Mr. Peanutbutter: "Am I any show starring Kyle Bornheimer? Because I have to cancel."
I used to feel that only celebrities or borderline celebrities could be cancelled, but now it seems pretty much anyone who exists in any way, shape or form on the internet can be subject to cancellation. YouTubers, TikTokers, "Twitter famous" Honestly, you don't even need to be very present on the internet yourself, just needing someone else to post a video of you doing something unsavory or just unappealing to a larger audience to be dragged all over the internet. We've now seen this with Karens all over the country. Recently people getting "this you'd" has been added to the list of types of cancellation.
I, personally, am not a big fan of cancel culture and of the mindset that pretty much everyone everywhere has done something, said something or, at the very least, thought something that would get them expeditiously cancelled. With that being said, I figure maybe if I can direct the cancellation contingent toward this specific group then I can maybe rally behind the cause.
1. Giant Baby
To say I hate this baby would serve as the understatement of the century. Loathe would be the more accurate word. It is smug, huge, maniacal and terrifying. I know for a fact this baby would beat my ass if it came down to it. You don't grow that strong and powerful without some skeletons in your closet, it simply cannot be. Let's figure out what that is.
2. People who drink a full glass of milk at restaurants
I'll admit it. I think milk is gross. I don't drink it. I do understand the staple it is to many diets, however, so I'd be foolish to suggest that anyone who drinks milk at all should be cancelled, so that is not what I am doing here. I am, however, coming for the absolute neck of sickos who order a glass of milk with dinner as adults. Babies and little kids can have their milk, and I'll even allow chocolate milk up until teenage age, but ordering a glass of milk with dinner as an adult is about a big a red flag I can think of. I worked as a waiter for many years, and I can say with absolute certainty 100% of adults who did this were weirdos I wanted to get away from me immediately. Cancel them before they can do more harm.
So this is admittedly not a person, but rather a television show. I may never been as proud of myself as I was after fully wrapping my head around season two of this show. I grinded. Watched YouTube video explainers, rewatched the season, watched the HBO after show with the writers explaining stuff. I FINALLY had it. I understood the timelines, the characters, who the hell was a robot and who wasn't. How did Westworld season three reward me for this hard work and commitment? By laying an absolute DUD. Season three stunk and lacked basically any substance. They should have wrapped things up this season and now I will have to watch season four because I am indebted to a show that I know will never properly reward me.
Want to hear a much more intelligent suggestion surrounding cancel culture than I provided you with here? Listen to today's episode of Token CEO: