While absentmindedly clicking my way through the internet yesterday I found and article talking about a 2012 survey performed by HealthyPools.org which said only 1/5 adults admitted to having peed in a swimming pool at least one time. 1/5 adults! One time!
To say I was taken aback would be a drastic understatement because, folks, I pee in pools, I'm not afraid to admit it. You know what else I think? Everyone pees in pools. I'd argue I've peed in the pool nearly every time I've been in the pool. Above ground pools, in-ground pools, inflatable pools, wave pools, saltwater pools, freshwater pools. I do not discriminate. Now, I'm not saying I am saving my pees or enjoy this act to the point where I prefer it to other types of urination, as that is absolutely not the case, but anyone who spends any sort of extended period in a pool knows that at some point you are going to have to pee. Ever been 10 beers deep relaxing in a pool or at a swim-up bar? You’re telling me you get all the way out, put on some sort of footwear, huff it either inside or to whatever closest bathroom EVERY TIME? Nonsense.
I did not think this was a controversial thing and figured this survey lacked validity (even though all my English teachers growing up told me I could basically trust any website that is .org). However, my crippling anxiety and self doubt immediately ramp up to full blast, so I figured I would take to Twitter to see if I really am the crazy one here.
3400 votes and counting and, at the time this blog is written, 14.5 percent of people have the audacity to take the time out of their day to head to my Twitter, and lie with their vote on this poll. An anonymous poll at that! While I felt much better knowing I don't have many of those liars who participated in that healthy pools survey following me, and most people were being honest, I was still troubled that nearly 1/7 of those who follow me still felt the need to lie. Have I not created the safe space I thought I had on my Twitter account? But that is a discussion for another time on another day.
The only reasoning I could see for actually never having peed in a pool would be if you have only been in a pool less than a handful of times, but I feel that is not the case for most individuals on this planet, especially those who follow me on Twitter. OR, if you're an impressionable individual who believed the rumor that the water would turn dark blue if you did pee.
I am grouping these individuals in with two other groups of liars/hardos who admit to accept their truth: Those who lie and say they never get hangovers and those who lie and say they exceptionally good at sex.
We only have so much time on this planet, why spend any of it lying about something everyone else does.