Claude Pulls A Pete Carroll, Outthinks Himself In Biggest Game Of Season As Bs Lose 3-0

Rear Admiral4/09/2015 2:07 PM

“Points in 5 straight & playoffs on the line is the perfect time to tinker with my line-up.” Claude Julien, auditioning for Bad Idea jeans.
— Rear Admiral (@RearAdBsBlog) April 9, 2015

I mean, what can you even fucking say at this point? While he’s hardly been perfect, Claude has been far from the biggest problem with the 2014-15 Boston Bruins. But he picked about the worst goddamn time to start messing with what had been a successful, youth-infused recipe as the Bruins laid a Capitol Dome-sized goose-egg when they desperately needed two points in losing 3-0 to the Caps. What the fuck, Claude?

While their play of lately wasn’t exactly inspiring visions of Duckboats, it was effective insofar as it was helping them lock up a playoff spot as they garnered points in six straight (with five wins in a row). The Lucic-Spooner-Pastrnak line had 14 points in those wins. It might’ve been ugly at times (it was) but it was working. And they hadn’t been shut out since March 15 in D.C..

But last night, Claude out-thunk himself against his good friend Barry Trotz and a very good Washington team that already locked up a playoff spot. He changed things up when there was no need to, citing some bullshit about last night being a “mans’ game”. By the end of the second period and the Bs down 3-0, there were so many disjointed lines on the ice it was as if Cyrano de Bergerac sneezed on Tony Montana’s glass-top table. And, of course, Claude eventually reunited the aforementioned line in the third period, essentially admitting he fucked up royally by messing with the lines.

Also, what the hell did Max Talbot do to get scratched? The crafty, deceptively skilled vet gives you everything every game on the fourth line and is a proven winner. So you bench him for the biggest game of the year when you most need points? Makes no sense whatsoever. Brutal call and Talbot should be pissed.

And Pastrnak with Greg Campbell and Carl Soderberg? Huh. Pastrnak was one of the few forwards trying to make things happen last night and actually created a couple of opportunities on the fourth line. But what the fuck is he doing on the fourth line all of the sudden? Campbell was fourth among forwards with 15:30 of ice-time and zero shots on goal.

And as for the team, they pretty much sucked, too (save for Tuukka Rask) so this ain’t all on Claude. Outskated, out-hustled, no jam out front, no rebounds created (which is the only way they’ll beat Holtby), and, worst of all, no desperation to their game. They basically checked out for the third period, ostensibly saving their energy for tonight’s huge tilt in Sunrise, Florida. Or there’s some other reason they managed a measly five shots on goal in the third period. Just an ugly night all around in D.C. Incredibly, the Bruins STILL control their own fate.

A few more buds for your bowl…

*PSA: NESN is going Old School tonight and relegating Bruins fans to second-class citizen status tonight by bumping the Bruins at Panthers game to NESN Plus so that they can give their beloved Red Sox the main network for the all-important Game 3 of 162. So fucking stupid.

*The Bs finish the season Saturday night in Tampa. Hopefully, they will have already clinched or the Lightning will already be locked into playoff position and start their back-up goalie. Ottawa is on Manhattan tonight to play the Presidents’ Trophy-winning Rangers and they finish in Philly with a Saturday matinee vs. what has been a frisky Flyers squad lately. Strap in.

*Non-Bruins Blog Items of the Week. (SPOILERS AHEAD, TREAD CAREFULLY) Finally caught up on “Better Call Saul” and Season One certainly exceeded my expectations. I think some of us, based on our prior experiences with Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill, were expecting something funny with a side of serious. Instead, we got something serious with a side of very funny. After the first few feeling-out eps, the show changed direction, grabbed you by the cojones, and made you take notice with the tense, bloody, jaw-dropping “Five-O”. The episode was a Jonathan Banks masterpiece and will be his Emmy submission. In “Pimento”, Bob Odenkirk turned in his best episode when he heartbreakingly learned of his brother’s cowardly betrayal and exactly how Chuck really felt about “Slippin’ Jimmy”. Odenkirk, rightfully lauded for his many comic endeavors, showed us him doing the other side and was pretty goddamn impressive going for pathos—he’s given Saul/Jimmy a level of depth we couldn’t have seen possible during his “Breaking Bad” run (perhaps because it no longer existed?). Either way, I thought they killed it this season. Also, props to the excellent and versatile Mel Rodriguez for his hilarious turn as Marco. He’s also pisser on “The Last Man On Earth” and HBO’s little-seen but hysterical “Getting On”.

*”All Or Nothing At All”, HBO’s two-part four-plus hour Frank Sinatra doc I pimped on “Five Minute Major” last week, was everything I’d hoped for and more. Comprehensive, detailed, and never boring, it showed the Jersey guy’s rise to stardom, his ego-crushing fall, and his second rise to world superstardom. It was an incredible life that nobody could really dream of and director Alex Gibney did a masterful job of digging up archival footage to help tell the tale. The doc also served as an American history lesson as well, as the viewer could note the many changes in the tastes over the years; the Big Band/Crooner Era slowly but gradually giving way to the more primal rock and roll as the world seemingly got crazier. Unsurprisingly, Sam Giancana came off looking better than the Kennedys did. And Frank showed there’s nothing like a vindictive guinea after JFK blew him off and he basically became Team GOP after years of supporting Dems (JFK never learned how to say “no” to his shady-as-fuck, string-pulling Old Man Joe). I can’t recommend it enough.

*Finally, as a child of the ’70s and ’80s who inhaled HBO like a drug, I’m sad to note that two classic character actors of that era passed away earlier this week. James Best, forever known as Rosco P. Coltrane on “The Dukes of Hazzard”, died Monday at 88. Prior to playing Boss Hogg’s #1, Best peppered dozens of movies and TV shows throughout the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s (like the Burt Reynolds stuntman classic “Hooper”) and was a well-known commodity before the CBS Friday night hit. On Tuesday, Geoffrey Lewis, perhaps best known as Clint Eastwood’s 1970s cinematic wingman, died at 79. Lewis, who was the father of actress Juliette, played the comic foil Orville Boggs to Eastwood’s straight man Philo Beddoe in “Every Which Way But Loose” and “Any Which Way You Can”. Two guys who made a lot of us laugh our asses off as kids gone in two days. Getting old sucks. Condolences to the friends and family of Best and Lewis.