The Delco PD Are Looking For Volunteers To Get Drunk As A Skunk On Their Tab
Philly – The Delaware County department posted the request on its Facebook page: “Volunteers Needed! Serious Responses Only! “This is for real,” said Officer Joe Vandegrift, volunteer coordinator for Newtown Township. There is a hitch, of course. The department is holding a field-sobriety training exercise for 24 officers from across Pennsylvania. The 20 volunteers it hopes to recruit have to go through three field-sobriety tests – horizontal gaze, walk and turn, and one-leg stand – given by officers looking to be certified, Vandegrift said. The party – er, event – is scheduled for the BPG Conference Center in Newtown Square from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. May 6 and 7, he said. And the department needs serious volunteers – emphasis on serious – and for the full day. “It’s not a happy hour,” Vandegrift said. The ideal volunteer would be a mature adult, he said. “We are not interested in people who drink and fight, that is for sure,” Vandegrift said. And no underage applicants. “You have to be at least 21,” he said. No beer. No wine. Participants will have their choice of vodka, whiskey, or rum. No cheap stuff, either. Police don’t want anyone to get sick. “Most likely, Absolut. Not MD 20/20,” he said.
On the surface this seems like a great idea. Police get valuable training in issuing sobriety tests and people get to booze hardcore for free. A win-win for everyone, right? Not so much – solely from this quote:
“We are not interested in people who drink and fight, that is for sure.”
HA! Good luck finding that needle in a haystack that qualifies. Fist fighting would be embedded on Delco’s official flag if anyone was actually sober enough to stitch one together. Anyone who has ever stepped foot in Barnaby’s in Aston would agree. And giving away free food along with high spirits is another recipe for disaster. Get ready for a swarm of Delcoians invading this place like World War Z. Hundreds of Eagles jerseys and tramp stamps trying to get lit up and eat a meal not sold (or stolen) from Wawa for the first time in months. That being said, I’ll see you there.
PS – Whatever happened to Things That Are Delco? A lot of accurate gems in that degenerate social media idenity