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Ovi Pulls A Rory And Dumps His Fiance.... Sniff, Sniff...That Smell is the Cup, Bitches!

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Daniel-Bryan-Yes-Cheer

 

Oh fuck yes!!! What a glorious, glorious Monday indeed! The sun is shining a bit brighter, the birds are chirping a bit louder, and Ovechkin is a single man. Single and ready to plow bitches. What does this mean for the Caps? The Stanley Cup is what it means, ever heard of it? And before you go Ovi won’t ever win a cup, you try to look science in the eyes and tell me that. Try to look at Newton and Einstein and Bill Nye and tell me that the Caps aren’t the favorites to win the Cup now. When a guy and his chick break up, the guy does everything 100 times better. You eat nonstop fast food when you’re with a chick, but then you start going to the gym when you get dumped. Same with Ovi. Backchecking just got turned up to 1000. Thought he was deadly on the power play this last season? Thought leading the league in goals was enough? In your bra, jabronies. Ovi is SINGLE. Georgetown’s collective pussy better watch the fuck out. Hatties at Verizon center by day, 5somes with the hoity toity bitches of DC by night. Nothing is out of the question for the Caps now. Sniff sniff, bitches. That smell is the cup.