Bartolo Colon Is The Fattest Opening Day Pitcher In Mets History

Congratulations, Bartolo! You are the fattest boy in camp! I love this “265” number thats floating around too. Tolo is a pound if he’s 265. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s 3 bills. And while there have been guys like CC who are heavier, there has never been a “fatter” pitcher to toe the rubber on Opening Day. He’s hitting 93 on the gun today so all that weight and all that HGH seem to be working just fine.

And if we’re being perfectly honest I dont even care about him on the rubber. I care about Big Sexy in the batter’s box. Looking at his heat map from 2014:

It looks like you DO NOT pitch Bartolo high and in. You do not come inside on Big Sexy.