Imagine Being as Lame as Norm Wood

We all know what happened to Coach Duggs and the Tennessee Volunteers in the national title game. There were more than 125,000 people at one point watching the No. 1 Vols piddle away a perfect season and see the crystal football fall into the hands of the Virginia Tech Hokies. It was not particularly fun for me to watch.

For hundreds of thousands of people, though, it was great entertainment. But not for Norm Wood of The Daily Press in Newport News, Virginia. No, he needs you to know how seriously he takes his job and that he is above watching something as trivial as someone else play a video game.

I honestly don't know if Norm is self-aware enough to understand that it is people like him who are destroying the very industry that employs them, but if he isn't, I'll tell him: Norm, you are the reason many of your peers can't get jobs right now.

These self-righteous assholes who act like their jobs are so important that something like Big Cat playing NCAA 14 is beneath them are the reason nobody reads their shitty newspapers anymore. I guarantee you more Virginia Tech fans watched that stream tonight than will ever read one of Norm's columns about the Hokies' defensive backfield depth heading into spring practice.

I'm so thankful I got an opportunity out if college to work at a place as great as Barstool and not have to go to some tiny newspaper in the middle of nowhere to cover high school volleyball, praying to one day make it to somewhere like Newport News, Virginia — not that there's anything wrong with that career path, lots of good people have done that. But the attitude people like Norm have is why Big Cat will continue to have more than 100,000 people watch him at whatever school he's at next while Norm will continue being a disgruntled asshole at a medium-market newspaper.

Suck a fat one, Norm.