Nature is Healing: Florida Woman Arrested After Battery With Hamburger

Orlando Sentinel — The affidavit said Tanya Amaryllis Cordero, 47, was living in a mobile home of her boyfriend’s mother, and that she and the boyfriend have four children together. The affidavit said the family has been trying to help her out with a place to stay, but that on the evening of the call, Cordero became upset when someone closed a window in her room.

“She smashed hamburger in his face,” the affidavit reads. “She denied doing so, but he still had hamburger in his ear upon arrival. She made a comment that she hoped he choked on the burger.”

If "Florida woman denies assaulting boyfriend with hamburger that was still in his ear upon cops' arrival" is not proof that things are returning to normal, I don't know what is.

And to be totally fair this woman, I would even be willing to consider the merits of smashing a hamburger in someone's face as an acceptable response to that person closing a window in your mobile home during a Florida summer. It's 100 degrees down there already. I'd imagine she didn't get her wish of her boyfriend choking on the burger, though, seeing as it had already been deposited all over his face — and apparently his ear canal.

I don't know what the lasting ramifications are for misdemeanor charges stemming from an incident like this, but sometimes you just have to haul off and smack somebody with a burger to make sure they get the message.