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An Asteroid Bigger Than the Empire State Building is Heading Toward Us at 11,200 MPH. Bring it On.

Source - NASA is tracking a giant asteroid which may be taller than the Empire State Building – and it’s set to skim Earth’s orbit this week. 

The Space Administration have dubbed the rock 163348 (2002 NN4), and it is expected to rocket by on Saturday June 6. 

It is estimated to be between 250m and 570m (820ft and 1870ft) – so it could be taller than the Empire State Building (443m or 1453ft) and the London Eye (135m or 443ft) combined.

NASA have classed the asteroid as an Aten asteroid, which is a space rock following a very wide orbit around the Sun.

Scientists do not think the asteroid will collide with Earth, but will keep an eye on it in case it enters Earth’s atmosphere by chance.

I'm saying what I'm about to say with the same voice of an entitled 16-year-old girl with her nose buried in her phone while her new stepdad is trying to tell her he's taking her privileges away until she starts to show him a little respect: 

oh no a giant asteroid bigger than the empire state building about to hit us at 11,000 mph please no not that it'll destroy us all i'm so scared whatever shall we do

Seriously, universe? You think at this point we're actually worried about a little 1,900-foot ball of hot zizzing space death hurtling toward us at the speed of a ballistic missile? Bring it. We wouldn't even waste the rocket fuel it would take to send up a ragtag squad of lovably quirky, oil-drilling misfits to nuke it into gravel. We'll just break out the booze and drugs and summer playlists and have a worlwide orgy until you put us out of our misery. 

By now, we're welcoming the end of days. I think I speak for the whole species when I say we dare you, cosmos. If you weren't such a pussy galaxy you'd have already given us the high hard one without tipping your pitch. Hell, we're ready to lean into the pitch. We'll take one for the planet like Buttermaker forced Oglivie to. 

I mean, what do think, solar system? We're afraid we're going to miss the summer movie season? School? The NBA playoffs? Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady? The fucking election? Show some balls for once and do it already. Quit nibbling around the edge of the plate and come right up in on us with that interplanetary chin music. In 2020, it'd be a mercy kill. We had a good run for a while, but so did the dinosaurs. And if going this way was good enough for the mighty T-Rex, it's good enough for me.