Remember That Santa Monica Woman in the Benz Who Posed for an IG Photo Pretending to Board Up a Store? Turns Out She was a Journo. Emphasis on the WAS.

Jack Mac wrote about this piece of work the other day. 

This anonymous hero who took 30 seconds out of her busy day of driving around in a luxury car to pretend to know how to work a power drill in order to protect someone's business while wearing aviators, cutoffs and sandals. You know, the way the poors do. 

Well she is anonymous no more. And won't have to worry about protecting anyone's place of business, because it would appear she lost her job over this. 

America, let me formally introduce Washington Examiner writer Fiona Moriarty-McLaughlin. Fiona, America. 

I have to admit, I'm jealous as hell she managed to get a whole column out of that "Six things to do with an avocado" idea. I tried it once. I wrestled with the concept for days and the only things I could come up with were "1) Eat it, 2) Throw it away" and abandoned the project altogether. I bow to her superiority. 

Unfortunately, if Fiona ever comes up with a seventh use of that avacado or "Six things to do with that parsnip lying around your rumpus room" or whatever, we won't be reading it on the Examiner. Or so it would appear:


I want to be consistent here because I try hard to never celebrate anyone losing their livelihood unless it's something really egregious. And making up a fake life on social media is nothing short of a lifestyle for young, attractive females in 2020. Asking them not too is like asking Irish women in the 1840s not to watch their children starve in the famine and then die of cholera. Besides, I know I'm one post of me taking advantage of a time of pain, anguish and great civil unrest to pretend I'm being helpful in order to impress my 'Gram followers away from unemployment as well. You have to think about the big picture before you go hopping out of your Benz to create content for your virtual fantasy life. Those "likes" might feel good, but you can't redeem them at the grocery store or use them to make the payments on your luxury whip. The first rule of being employed is don't publicly humiliate your employer in a viral video, especially in a time of crisis. Lesson learned. 

P.S. That "Black Mirror" episode where Bryce Dallas Howard's entire life depends on her upping her rating on social media might be the smartest hour of scripted television of our lifetimes. People like Fiona are living it.