Finally Real Baseball Talk, Cubs Pitching Preview
Opening Day is Sunday. Here are my thoughts on our pitching heading into the season. I’ll do the same for position players tomorrow. Also, it’s important you read this because we’re going to win the World Series this season.
There. I said it.
#1 Jon Lester: what needs to be said that hasn’t been said already? He’s a number one. He pitches downhill, can cut and elevate the fastball and has balls the size of your head. We brought him here to beat the Cardinals when we need to down the stretch. It’s that simple. So just imagine him walking off the mound after striking out the side in the top of the 7th of a late September home game against the Cardinals to hold onto a 2-0 lead. **uncomfortably rearranges erection** That’s pretty hardcore stuff right there, guys. But it’s what he’s here to do. I think everyone in the baseball world is expecting a huge season from Lester, and you should be no different.
#2 Jake Arrieta: for those of you trying to figure out if we’re going to (a) suck again (2) be decent or (D) go to the playoffs, I ask you to look no further than our #2 starting pitcher. His mid to late season run last year elevated expectations from a reliable innings eater to a front-end stud. The reason? His cutter. He “found” it at some point early in 2014 and the rest is filled with 7+ inning-, 3-or-less-hit starts. His ERA+ last year finished at 151. A few more innings and he would have qualified for the top 10 in MLB, where he would have finished one spot behind the fucking AL Cy Young Award winner. So yeah, I’d say I feel pretty good about our #2 pitcher.
#3 Jason Hamel: the Big Noodle is back for seconds on a 2 year/$20million deal after serving as the side salad to the Lousiana Purchase type fleecing we pulled off in the Samardzija/Addison Russell deal. He fits perfectly into the middle of the rotation as a guy who pounds the zone with a heavy sinker and average off-speed. He pitches to contact, has good tempo/pace in his starts, and has an old school feel to his games. His stuff isn’t the type to get you laid on the first night but it’s going to consistently put you in a position to not fuck it up. Classic 3.
#4 Kyle Hendricks: he’d probably be an investment banker or embracing some other soulless corporate existence if he didn’t have a plus changeup. Fortunately he does so here he is starting games for the Chicago Cubs. His four seam fastball is objectively below average while his curve, cutter, and slurve (yes, he allegedly throws a fucking slurrveee) don’t fall far behind. Insert his very above average sinker and the ultimate breadwinner in his repertoire – the changeup. He uses it effectively by really only throwing it when he needs it. So expect to see him try and get through the lineup one time before pulling out the change. That means you’ll see a lot 3-4 innings, 5+ ER starts. But it also means when he gets into the 6th, you can guarantee he’s on cruise control. There should be far more of the latter.
#5 Travis Wood, Right?: Not really sure and to be honest, there’s so much going on with this team and organization that our #5 starter is such a drastic non issue. We have options and that’s really all you can ask for with the #5 spot. We have two former All Stars to pick from in Travis Wood and Edwin Jackson, and a deep sincere hope that one of them reclaims something that even remotely resembles that form.
Bullpen: We just sent Schlitter and Rosscup down to the minors leaving us with a really thin pen. What’s there though is pretty good, starting with Hector Rondon. Some people think he’s more of a set-up man posing as a closer but I think it’s about time we put that to rest. I don’t give a flying fuck what the closer looks like, or how hard his fastball is or what kinda music they play when he comes in. I just want someone who throws quality strikes in high leverage situations. Rondon did that last year so it’s his spot to lose. Personally I think he’s okay and there’s a lot greater weaknesses to bitch about. So yeah if he can shut the door then seriously just be my fucking guest.
Behind Rondon is Pedro Strop, who came over in the 2013 blockbuster that sent Scott Feldman and Steve Clevenger to Baltimore for Strop and Arrieta. (**ferociously laughs out loud**)
Strop’s got electric stuff and knows it, which means he honestly will make you want to shed innocent blood from time to time. Motte, led the NL in saves in 2012 before blowing out his arm and being sidelined for almost 2 full seasons. No clue what we’re getting from him but I will say this – Jason Motte is the type of guy you want in the clubhouse.
Finally, rounding out the bullpen of people worth mentioning are two arms we can thank the Texas Rangers for giftwrapping us – Neil Ramirez and Justin Grimm. Ramirez throws gas and has a power hammer breaking ball that apparently he didn’t throw until he got to the big leagues. Funny how that works – oh look what I found after I fulfilled my lifelong dream… a plus breaking ball to compliment my 98mph heater. As for Grimm, same shit different body. Guy pumps ched and has plus-plus facial hair, something that I think the bullpen will need when it gets cold in October.