Guy Writes Into Advice Column Because His Wife Is A Lover Of Kinky Sex Who Had A Threesome With Her Mom And It's Got Him Rattled
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I’m willing to overlook the overall insanity of finding out this information and going, “You know who’ll know what to do here in this complicated situation of trust, love, and sexual deviancy’s effect on both? Prudence on Salon.com” because that’s not really the point (but seriously, weird move bro). But really I’m wondering how it’s possible for you to be completely unaware of this? Noted philosopher Chris Bridges once opined “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife” and normally I’d say that’s not true but there should be at least a few signs that she had a life of mother-daughter porn scenes, sex that David Carradine wouldn’t have had the lung capacity for, and Dancing Bear reenactments. Moist panties on the way to dinner on Mother’s Day or the fact she bought both the Bluray and digital download of Magic Mike, perhaps? But more importantly, once she’s lived like that, there’s no way this is just an innocent “This is all part of my past but I’m SO happy now” talk either; based on this guy’s reaction, I’d say his cocksmanship has got to be vanilla at best, and this chick is putting out a sly cry for help to get what she needs. Such a sneaky way to beg for a little spice in the bedroom and this dunce is here thinking he should be worried about this news’s impact on his relationship’s well-being just on his end. If he’s happy with everything else there’s only one thing he should be concerned about: Laying that pipe with all the filthy frills so she doesn’t go back to mom looking for help finding That Good Dick.
Anyway Prudence’s answer was classic Prudence “try to not think about it and focus on the good” but obviously this dude just needs to get on her level. Call her dirty names. Put a hand on her throat, maybe throw some salt in her eye like Mr. Fuji helping out Yokozuna. She’s laid out a very clear path here. Time for you to meet her halfway.
PS My advice would be better if I had video evidence of said mother-daughter threesome. Just feels like an important part of the picture Prude and I aren’t getting here.
(Cuck McGee photo by Shutterstock, via @jasonrmcintyre)