God Bless Lindsay Marie Brewer

Was taking my morning dump this morning and I stumbled upon Lindsay. God bless her heart, as she's a perfect distraction, even if momentarily, from what's going on around us. Just a potato sack girl like you read about, all I want to do marry her and move away to a secluded island. Is that too much to ask? 

Probably because I'm a 5'7" Internet blogger that lives in a shitty midrise apartment. Can't win em all. That said, the offer is on the table Lindsay:


oh and since I have your attention, General Smitty, Balls and I are about to embark on a massacre of the fictional Soviet city of Verdansk on the www.barstoolsports.com Twitch channel. You can follow along here:

God bless us, everyone!