Little Known Fact, Manny Ramirez Was Actually 50 Years Old When He Was On The Red Sox

Manny grew up in Washington Heights and went to high school there, so the age jokes don't really ring the same, but still that dude is over 60 years old. I'm not even trying to say, "Wow, Manny looks old" I'm just saying Manny looks like an old man. Does that make sense? There's a difference. In fact, Manny looks good for an old man so I wouldn't even say he looks old, he just looks like what he is. That's all very confusing and also perfectly spot on, I couldn't say it any clearer. 

Nevertheless, Manny is listed at 47 years old right now and that is simply incorrect. He's listed as a 6 foot tall 47 year old when we can see clear as day he's more of a "girls would swipe left on Tinder" 64 year old. I don't mean any of this as a knock, it makes his exploits all the more impressive that he was older than your dad and shorter than you when he was the most feared right handed hitter in baseball. 

Manny has always been my favorite Red Sox, yes Papi meant more to the city and all that, but I loved Manny with all my heart. I got compared to Manny once playing high school baseball by a teammate's dad and it was the greatest compliment I ever received (it was not for my skill, it was because I kinda just lived on my own planet in the outfield and would fuck around all game, but still). He's the best and seeing that big ol' smile and that head of white hair makes me love him even more.