We've all pictured ourselves as this bikini-wearing man while we've been quarantined away in our tiny apartments. We've all dreamt of the moment when the world finally opens up again and we can escape to paradise - a place where the sun would beat down on us, toasting our skin to a perfect copper caramel as the brisk water sizzles against its heat, the salty remnants a sticky reminder of where we were. One day we too would stand next to giant boulders with our irresistible tan lines and take a picture for the world/our followers to see.
Unfortunately, that day is not today.
But, if you're willing to fly to Cyprus, it might be sooner than you think. (credit: NY Post)
International air travel to Cyprus begins June 9, initially from 19 countries, with passengers required to undergo a COVID-19 test three days prior to departure.
And why Cyrpus? Well, the lack of visitors has significantly hurt them since tourism accounts for about 13% of the island's economy, so now they're doing whatever they need to do to get people there. Including making some really expensive promises.
Cyprus is pledging to cover all costs for anyone testing positive for the coronavirus while on vacation on the eastern Mediterranean island nation, according to a letter obtained by The Associated Press on Wednesday.
The Cypriot government says it will cover lodging, food, drink and medication for COVID-19 patients and their families. Patients will only have to pay for the taxi ride to the airport and the flight back home.
A 100-bed hospital will cater exclusively to foreign travelers who test positive. About 112 intensive care units equipped with 200 respirators will be reserved for critically ill patients. A 500-room “quarantine hotel” will be reserved for patients’ family members and other close contacts.
Look, obviously nobody wants to get Corona but if you're going to get it, does having it on an idyllic island that provides a safe haven for your loved ones while you're in the ICU sound like the best option?
FUCK NO! If shit goes down, the last place I want to be is on an island, 7,000 miles away from my family in Texas! I know what happened at Pearl Harbor and I have no interest in being on a small island when it's taken by surprise. Sure, that was a completely different kind of attack, but they were not at all prepared for the undetected hit, and neither is Cyprus. They have 112 ICUs and 200 respirators… what happens when 500 tourists are infected? And what about the locals they infect? You would have to be a maniac to choose to put yourself in that situation. Even if Kate Beckinsale was promised as your nurse.
But of course, if you are a lunatic who absolutely HAS to go on a distant vacation asap, Cyprus might be a good option. While their hospitals may not be prepared for a worst-case scenario, their resorts appear to be taking intense measures against possible virus spreading.
While in Cyprus, people who aren’t in the same travel group are obliged to keep apart at least two square meters (21 square feet) outdoors and three square meters (32 square feet) indoors.
Regularly disinfected sunbeds will be two meters (6.5 feet) apart for people not belonging to the same travel group.
Hotel staff will be obliged to wear masks with rooms being disinfected after every departure.
Pretty impressive actually - their standards are higher than most places in the US… and with a better view.
You're not going to catch me on a flight to Cyprus anytime soon, but I hope those who do, reach the sunny destination safely and come home healthy, happy, and with a stunning facemask tan line.