Today in Reddit Relationship Advice: 'I Don't Want to Take Part in My Girlfriend's Family Sex Ritual on Our Wedding Night'

Reddit is probably the place more so than anywhere else on the internet that can make your problems seem small in comparison to the plights of others. Sure, you had to go into work today hungover after Memorial Day and your car is a little fucked up, but at least you don't have your fiancé's family wedding sex ritual hanging over your head.

Here is the story from r/relationship_advice:

My goodness, what a thing to have to take in. "So honey, you know our wedding night? My family has this thing..."

This sounds straight out of Schrute Farms. I can't believe that in the Year of Our Lord 2020, there are families waiting outside the door for this couple to have sex so they can take a piece of the sheet and sew it onto a quilt. What in the world are we even talking about here?

I wouldn't say this should necessarily be a dealbreaker for anybody because it's a one-night deal, but there is absolutely no way this guy can let this happen. Under no circumstances will I have sex with a party waiting outside to congratulate myself and my wife and proceed to sew a sex sheet onto their family sex blanket.

Also, what an outrageous supposed compromise from the wife to "pretend" and then just walk out. I can't put my finger quite on why, but that somehow seems worse.

But my contention is that if your soon-to-be mother-in-law is already saying you "don't understand the importance of family" because you won't have sex in front of them and then have your wedding sex sheets sewn onto a quilt, she's not going to like you one way or another, so you may as well just lay down the law and not do it. I honestly hope to meet a woman someday whom I love enough to even contemplate a solution other than telling her family how out of their minds they are for this outrageous tradition.

I'm rooting for this guy. Don't give in to the beet farmers' sex cult. Once they get you to do this, they can get you to do anything.