Let Me Be Your General Manager, Detroit Pistons

After much deliberation, I am officially throwing my name in the hat. Let me be your general manager, Detroit. Do you want some numbers nerd with a degree from MIT or some former jock that understands the intricacies in team-building from years of playing? Or do you want to win?

My qualifications are listed below. References available upon request.

• I have been to Detroit, Michigan
• I have talked to MULTIPLE Pistons players, past and present 
• Little Caesar's pizza is headquartered in Detroit (where I have been, see point one). Not only do I know that but I've also eaten Little Caesar's pizza.
• I've been preparing for this opportunity all of my life since April 14th:

As a show of good faith, I will even tell you my first three moves. 

1. We're taking Tony Snell clothes shopping
2. We're re-signing Christian Wood, price be damned
3. We're locking in Detroit's finest, Sada Baby, to perform at every home game. "Who is Sada Baby?", you ask. I'll explain it after we lead the league in attendance after millions make the trek just to get a glimpse of Skuba Steve. 

Hit my line. Let's build.