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Home Run Inn Pizza Gets A Beef For Making An Astounding 80,000 Pies A Day To Save Chicagoans During Quarantine

CHICAGO TRIBUNE - A 73-year-old pizza empire that grew from a single Chicago tavern, Home Run Inn operates nine restaurants in the city and suburbs, and a 60,000-square-foot manufacturing facility in Woodridge. Frozen pizza generates about 75% of the company’s revenue, but with its restaurants limited to pickup and delivery since March, the balance has shifted even more dramatically.

Home Run Inn went all in on frozen pizza on March 16, shifting to a seven-day production schedule for its 130 line workers. The plant has been churning out about 78,000 frozen pizzas a day, up about a third from the pre-pandemic operation.

“It was absolutely crazy,” said Nick Perrino, 33, who heads up the frozen pizza division for Home Run Inn. “The pandemic had people stocking up on frozen pizza, making sure they had product, just like with toilet paper."

I spend a lot of time sucking Home Run Inn's dick and rightfully so. Anyone worth their shit in this town knows that HRI is the unequivocal GOAT as determined by hard objective data

Home Run Inn is the No. 12 brand in sales nationally, according a Chicago-based market research firm. It is the No. 1 selling frozen pizza in the Chicago area.

None of this should be a surprise if you've spent 5 seconds following Barstool Chicago in quarantine. The crust and the crunch. The local flavor and story. The unique pre-bake on the cheese and all natural spiced sausage. I don't know if I should be hungry or horny but I'm definitely getting warmed up at the thought of a fresh pie from my good friends. 

Even more encouraging though is that it sounds like this Nick Perrino fella is the right guy from our generation to guide the frozen pizza division:

“If we could make double, we’d be able to sell double,” said Perrino, whose grandfather began serving pizza at the family’s Little Village tavern in 1947.

A lot of people get nervous when it comes to family business that it could get fucked up when you pass it down because the younger crowd just doesn't Get It but if you're telling me old St. Nick here is pumping out 80 large pizzas a day, then I'm telling you we're in good hands. The Jewels and Marianos and the likes should be packed to the fucking gills from now until our natural deaths with delicious Home Run Inn pizza. In a world of chaos and uncertainty just admit it feels good to know there's stability in the oven. 

Elsewhere, HRI got the review treatment 2 months ago which was notable for 2 reasons: First, it was a bullshit review marred with obstructions and interferences that potentially distracted from a balanced score. I'm not pointing fingers I'm just saying that didn't feel right. Next: pretty sure this is how the unboxing started. THIS A FUCKIN BIG BOI PACKAGE. 

On that alone I propose a 3 point adjustment in favor of Home Run Inn. It's only fair.