CAROLINE COUNTY, Va. -- A Caroline County family discovered nearly one million dollars in cash after running over bags filled with bills while on a Saturday afternoon drive.
A literal dream. There is nothing I want more in this life than to just have money for doing absolutely nothing, as I assume is the same for most logical human beings.
Now obviously the lottery would be the ideal way to accomplish that dream but that's far too unrealistic. One could argue that it's unrealistic to want to be rich without putting in any work whatsoever but that's neither here nor there. It's just whenever I hear a story about Joe Blow from bumblefuck nowhere stumbling upon $1,000,000 I can't help but get a little bit jealous. Anyways, moving on...
Emily Schantz said that she was driving in the car with her family when she noticed the car in front of them swerving around an object in the road.
The object, which turned out to be a bag, was hit by the Schantz family car.
So many things had to happen perfectly for this family to even be in this situation. A huge right place, right time scenario but it just still feels like bullshit that they literally had a million buckaroos fall right into their lap.
The family, out for a Saturday afternoon drive, thought that someone had left trash in the middle of Broad Street.
The family put the bag, and another bag spotted 15 feet away, in their pick-up truck.
This has got to be the wildest part of this entire story.
They just pulled over and picked up a bag? That they thought was garbage? Listen, I'm all for saving the environment and everything but who in the fuck is pulling over and picking up garbage in the middle of the road? Absolutely nobody. Not me, not you, not your mom, not your dad, NOBODY is picking up this garbage. I don't even think Greta Thurnberg would've turned around and picked up some random 'trash' bag in the middle of the road, let alone some random family in Virginia.
What they did not know was that they were driving around with close to a million dollars in cold hard cash.
"Inside of the bag, there were plastic baggies and they were addressed with something that said ‘cash vault,’" Schantz said.
The Schantzes called Caroline deputies upon making the discovery.
Every. Single. Time. That's the thing that never fails to disappoint me with these types of stories. They always give the money back.
Maybe it's just the ever opportunistic side of me but this just feels like a blown opportunity. This family was quite literally given ONE MILLION DOLLARS on a silver platter and they've let it go to the wayside. Why? To keep their morals intact? IDIOTS. Who the fuck needs morals when you have $1,000,000. Certainly not me.
Who cares who the money actually belongs to? Ever heard of a little ole thing called finders keepers? Clearly not. It's not even like the money would be tracked back to this family. I guess the main fear is that the money belongs to an underground crime family of sorts and even then, what's the harm in taking a few dollars? Nothing wrong with a small finder's fee.
But no, this family threw away their one chance and may never have the chance to be millionaires ever again. It's a risk that I wouldn't be willing to take and, quite frankly, I condemn anyone who would make a similar decision.