The Proposed Rules To Bring Baseball Back Stink Out Loud

P. U. 

No spitting? In baseball? Baseball was BUILT on a spit. There's a pitch named after spitting. I'd argue baseball has been the key cog in keeping spitting around all these decades. You cannot have baseball without gum, seeds, or dip. It just isn't possible. If that were the only proposed rule change I'd be disgusted. No licking your fingers? Can pitchers even pitch without licking their hands? Honestly can you remember the last time you saw a close up shot of a pitcher taking in the signs from his catcher and NOT licking his fingers to get a better grip on the ball, because I certainly cannot. 

What I really cannot understand is that if there's going to be frequent testing what are these rules going to accomplish? I understand player safety being important and you don't want to put people at risk, but if Joe Rogan can have his guests tested before recording a podcast can the MLB not figure out a similar system? Test every player before they enter the stadium each day, and if everyone is ok then play ball. I'm sure, since I'm an idiot, I'm missing something but at the same time it feels like I'm not missing anything at all with that plan. Because if those are the only proposed "outs" then what about tagging runners? What about fielding a ball thrown by the pitcher, handled by the shortstop and received by the first baseman? With no batboys someone still has to retrieve the fucking bat. Goddammit this all sucks ass. Remember going outside and being around humans and not thinking about that being taken away from us? That was a fun 2,020 year run we had.