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I'm sure someone or maybe 2 or 3 other people are going to blog the below video. And to that end, I hope they're great jokes and I don't want to take anything away from them. But for my money I just can't help myself.

Anytime and I mean literally ANY TIME I see a goose or a swan or a bird of some kind of notable majestic size, I instantly think STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN. Maybe that's because I'm an immature little fuck deep into his 30's that won't let go of a childhood flooded with Adam Sandler moments. Maybe it's because I like a cheap and easy laugh. Maybe it's because I actually fucking hate swans and don't take time to differentiate between that and another bird so I just put my defense mechanisms up. There's a lot of reasons in play here but one thing that's consistent: me talking to myself like Billy Madison. 

Here's a list of some other amazing moments from culturally significant comedies to my generation that have taken over in similar respect:


I'll never knock on a hotel door or really anyone's door without pretending to be housekeeping. Almost always I go right to the "you need me jerk you off?" line because that one's my favorite. I don't pussy foot around. 


Just thinking about crab cakes gets me going. Anytime one crosses my mind I instantly go back to Wedding Crashers. Such an aggressive and absurd set of circumstances. The crab cakes line comes out of nowhere and like al the classics, it stays with me wherever I go. 


When I get the chance to let a "jackpot" go, I do it exactly like Billy Madison 100% of the time. Can't help myself. The emotion and execution is perfect. The tone resonates. It just feels good. 



If someone says "omg carl you're such a stud muffin watch out for bees" I instantly go BEES THEY'RE EVERYWHERE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. I can't help it. One time my buddy was getting married at this outdoor ceremony and I barreled over a tuba player taking the joke too far. That said, when this one hits, it's worth the risk. My collarbone is doing just fine. 

Bohemian Rhapsody

You are required by law of man to jam out anytime this song comes on. It's actually frowned upon if you don't so stop being a pussy and learn the lyrics. Bonus points to have a buddy with you that can go low when you go high and vice versa. 


If I have to explain this one then you're probably dead. 

What did I miss. What can't you hear without instantly going back to the same comedy?