Your Latest Batch of Ellen Degeneres News: Being Petty to a Waitress and Calling Steve Jobs to Complain About Her iPhone

One of the things that is helping us all get through 2020 is this mudslide of past and present Ellen Degeneres crew members speaking up and exposing her for the vindictive, condescending, verbally-abusive monster she has long been rumored to be. I mean, consider for a second that Instagram post. She actually had somebody use a phone to record her using a phone to have conversations that didn't go anywhere. And posted it. What kind of a vapid narcissist would you have to be to even push the egg of that idea out of your mental birth canal? It is just to remind us all she can dial Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel any time she wants? Like we didn't know that? 

Pat has largely been on top of this one:

And I'm happy to pile on. As Oscar Wilde once said, "Some cause happiness wherever they go; some, whenever they go." And we've pretty much got a unanimous opinion from her staff members that she is the latter. . The Twitter thread sharing stories about Ellen's insufferable behavior in order to raise money for the LA Food Bank is currently up over 2,200 replies.

And fortunately for all of us, the hits keep right on coming

NY Post - “The stories are all true!” a former “Ellen DeGeneres Show” staffer said of recent reports that the richest comedian in the world is also allegedly one of the rudest. …

Lately, DeGeneres, 62, who famously tells viewers to “be kind” at the end of her show, hasn’t been getting away with it.

Over the past few weeks, DeGeneres has been criticized for comparing the coronavirus lockdown to “being in jail” even as she posts Instagram videos of herself in her $27 million Balinese-style mansion near Santa Barbara, Calif. She was also accused, in a report leaked to Variety, of cutting her talk show’s union show crew in favor of freelancers. (A spokesperson for Warner Bros. Television, which distributes Ellen’s show, told Variety that the change was cleared with union reps and no crew member lost a job.) …

Chris Farah, 35, an actress and stand-up comic, was one of the posters. She said she was a waitress at a vegan restaurant in LA in March 2014 when DeGeneres and her wife, Portia de Rossi, came in for brunch. Farah said DeGeneres was not particularly friendly but didn’t complain about anything to her.

A week later, Farah’s manager pulled her aside.

“He asked me if I’d served Ellen,” Farah told The Post. “I was really excited for a minute. I thought maybe she wanted to use me in her show. Then he told me that Ellen had written to the owner complaining that I had chipped nail polish. I couldn’t believe it. She’s so busy and rich. Why would she f–k with me?” …

A former associate producer recalled being in Ellen’s office several years ago when the star lost her glasses and couldn’t read a text on her iPhone.

“She stopped everything and made a call,” the producer said. “Next thing we know, we literally hear [Apple CEO] Steve Jobs pick up and say, ‘Hi, Ellen’ … Ellen told him the iPhone should have a bigger font. That’s her. It’s not that she’s some demon. She just lives in an incredibly privileged bubble and is out of touch with the real world.”

OK, last story first. You have to be a raging egomaniac, burning with the heat of the Australian brush fires with your own self worth to call the CEO of the then-biggest corporation in the world yapping at him because you lost your glasses. But I can't say that I hate it. On the contrary, it's what the kids call a baller move. If I could go into my Contacts list and dial up Jeff Bezos to help me find my car keys or because the delivery guy put my package next to the front steps instead of on them, I like to think I'd have the balls to do it. And do in the presence of my underlings, so they could see how much power I wield. That is lifting your leg and marking your territory with one of the most powerful streams in the entertainment industry. Again, it's out of control narcissism and probably a cry for help, but I respect it. 

But I care a lot less about how she treats one of the most powerful businessmen who ever lived and a man who changed the way life on this planet is lived than I do about an actress and a comedian trying to pay her bills serving vegan food to pretentious, judgmental assholes. Imagine the sense of entitlement you'd need to have to not just notice a working person who's carrying things with her hands all day had chipped goddamned nails, not just bring it up to her manager, but to complain about it in writing. If you're like most people you barely have time to answer your emails and texts. Think for a second how invested you would have to be about a complaint to drop what you're doing, sit down at a keyboard and bang that out. If the food was inedible and the server treated me like garbage, maybe I'd let the manager know so they don't lose business. If I cared about them. If they were friends. But you've got to possess the nature of a Bond villain to rat out a working person over their nail polish. 

Holy moly that proves what a tyrant Ellen is. And I think we can all appreciate her evil deeds being put out there for the world to enjoy. If there's one thing we need right now is a cause we can all rally behind. And exposing her to help feed the hungry is it.