IKEA Vows to Be More Careful About Women Shooting 'Do It Yourself' Porn on the Furniture

Source - She did it herself, all right.

A woman was caught on camera masturbating while half-naked in a Chinese IKEA store, prompting the DIY furniture company to pledge stricter security.

The two-minute pornographic clip shows the unidentified woman wearing just a white shirt as she pleasures herself in various sections of the store.

As other shoppers walk by, the woman initially sat on a chair, touching herself as she thrust her butt toward the camera.

She then sat on a bed with her legs spread wide — at one point seeming to catch the eye of some guys walking past — before taking off her shirt in a more secluded spot in the store.

After going viral, the X-rated footage was soon scrubbed from Chinese social media — but with interest so high, even the Swedish furniture giant’s response got 9 million views, according to Agence France-Presse. ...

The homeware group said Saturday it would take “even more careful security and public cleanliness measures” and encouraged all customers to “browse stores in an orderly and civilized way,” AFP said. ...

With nobody wearing a face mask, it is also assumed that the pornographic clip was filmed before the coronavirus outbreak. ...

“This woman is so brave, I don’t understand, [she’s] just doing it in broad daylight,” read one Weibo post that gained more than 8,000 likes.

“There are so many people around, I just don’t understand,” another wrote.

First things first: No. I am not linking the video for you. I'm not one of these "all Millennials are lazy" guys to begin with. But finding this thing is a task that anyone in the age group that has grown up on line should be able to find with minimal effort. Hint: You can do it with two search words. I located it in two seconds, purely for the purpose of researching this piece. And I grew up at time where finding a couple of Penthouses in the woods behind our neighborhood was better than discovering a cave filled with pirate's treasure. Besides, what else have you got to do? 

So with that as preamble, I'm glad someone figured out this little piece of cinema verite was filmed before the outbreak. Because as you can tell just from the description, you can't film one of these things without there being a lot of fluids on a lot of pieces of furniture  that a lot of other customers are going to be trying out later. It's the nature of the genre. And if you shined a blacklight on any sofa, chair, ottoman or even the carpeting, it'd look like one of Jackson Pollack's canvasses. 

Which really begs the question of whether the public masturbation video as an art form is dead. We keep hearing the experts try to predict what the "new normal" will look like and whether we'll ever come in contact with each other again the way we used to. And I have to believe that, whatever it's like going forward,  rubbing one out in furniture stores for the pleasure of strangers on the internet will be the first thing to go. 

Still, at least IKEA got free publicity out of it. Nine million hits just on your official company apology is a pretty impressive amount of views. No wonder the NBA doesn't want to do anything to alienate the Chinese market.