"This... Is Frank...Costanza... You think you can keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. In the clubhouse. WE'RE GONNA BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLEBOARD COURT, AND I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!!!"
"What is this.... A PROPHYLACTIC WRAPPER?!?"
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TRADE JAY BUHNER FOR! HE HAD 30 HOME RUNS OVER 100 RBI'S LAST YEAR... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!!!"
I don't care how cliche it is to say this at this point, but 2020 completely and totally SUCKS.
It's the worst year of all time. We have no bars, no sports, THE BEST TV DADS OF ALL TIMES HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! And I mean that quite literally. Jerry Stiller didn't die of Corona, he died because his head fell off.
Okay, I'm kidding, that didn't actually happen. I don't think. It was "natural causes" but if you were to tell me that he did in fact die because his head fell off, I'd absolutely believe you. It'd just be par for the course in this fucked up year we're in.
ANYWAYS - decapitation aside - let's pay a little homage to the best TV Dad of all time. Yeah, I said it. Frank Costanza was the BEST TV dad ever. I don't give a single flying fuck what your opinion is, because it's wrong if you don't say Frank Costanza. "But WSD what about Homer Simpson? Tim Taylor? Eddard Stark?"
Look dickhead, it can't be Ned Stark. His head actually DID fall off. I'm sorry for the spoiler. Can't be that great of a dad if you're so bad at keeping the politics of the 7 kingdoms even keeled that you get decapitated by a little snot nosed, blonde haired asshole.
But, I digress. It's just that there's Frank Costanza and then there's everyone else. All of the TV dads I mentioned above are in a tier below him. Can throw Coach Taylor, Randy Marsh and Peter Griffin in there too, and no, if a TV show was pre-1990 it doesn't count. This is my blog, I make the rules.
It's just that every single time he was on camera he electrified the scene. His interactions with Estelle were hilarious. His relationship with Kramer and their idiotic ideas were always laugh out loud funny. I don't care that he was a side character and not necessarily a focal point in Seinfeld, the greatest sitcom in TV history wouldn't be the same without him.
So here's to you, Frank Costanza. 92 years is a helluva run. You were a comedic genius.