The Barstool Sportsbook Has Arrived In MichiganLearn More

#StayPositive Saturday: If You Don't Smile During This Dikembe Mutombo Video, Your Soul Is Dead

Look, I get we are all struggling. Every morning my kids wake me up before the sun rises knowing that there is nothing on the docket other than trying to keep them safe, keep myself sane, and stay afloat as the daily tidal wave of bad news washes ashore, I whisper a list of things I would do to coronavirus if I met him in a dark alley for what he has done to the world. All of those things are extremely violent to the point none of them would be able to be shown in a Quentin Tarantino movie. 

HOWEVAH, if you didn't crack a smile as Mount Mutombo pumped 1000 CCs of dopamine into your body with his signature Cookie Monster voice, the Rona has already won the battle as well as the war against your mind, body and soul. There is something inherently beautiful about watching a comically oversized man stretch and use an ab roller that will never go away during our darkest moments. Even the unavoidable amount of floppage that I could never imagine having during those jumping jacks didn't get me down because of how wonderfully mesmerizing they were coming from a 7'3" beacon of hope. How anybody could ever turn deaf ears to the question "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" is beyond me.

If someone ever puts a camera in front of Dikembe Mutombo and the result isn't my soul grinning from ear-to-ear, just throw me off the nearest cliff because I am clearly beyond saving. But until that day comes, we must protect the international treasure named Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutomb at all costs because he is truly humanity's greatest asset during these trying times.

P.S. I thought the big fella was going to clank that shot and just leave it in this edited video because that's the kind of guy he is. God bless Dikembe Mutombo

h/t Dennis