You've Never Been As Happy As Takoda The Bear Splashing Around In A 300-Gallon Tub

You know how us humans think we've got it the best out of all living creatures because we're self aware and have opposable thumbs? Well we're wrong. We're so so wrong man. We think because we get to eat pumpkin pie and drive Toyota Camrys that we're the bees knees when it comes to the food chain and it's just not true. Because I can guarantee you've never been as happy or content as Takoda the bear splashing around in that 300-gallon tub. Never ever and you know why? It's because Takoda isn't self aware. The only thing Takoda cares about is that water in that tub and those splashes. Takoda doesn't have to worry about the coronavirus or flattening the curve or social distancing or wearing a mask. Takoda doesn't even know what those words mean. Nobody could give a fuck less about the global pandemic going on than Takoda and I'm jealous. If you say you're not jealous, you're just a stupid self aware human being.

People you follow on social media who use the word mindfulness too much will tell you that you need to, "live in the moment' and that's exactly what Takoda does every second of every day without effort. Takoda doesn't have to think to himself, "I need to be living in the moment" because he's too busy doing it. Takoda stays being in the moment. Takoda doesn't think about how great it is to be pitter pattering in that giant tub, he just experiences it. That's living. Don't get me wrong, pumpkin pie is delicious and Toyota Camrys are dope, but I'd rather be Takoda, especially right now.