Perps in a High Speed Police Chase Throw Almost $1 Million Out the Window, Ending the Worst Weed Purchase in History

Source - Nearly $1 million in cash was dumped on a Central California road during a police chase that ended with the arrests of two New York men who apparently planned to buy marijuana with the money, the California Highway Patrol said.

Frank Capraro, 23, and Desmond McDay, 25, both of Medford, were arrested Friday evening, the Merced Sun-Star reported. ...

The Suburban stopped on the shoulder of the road at one point and the driver got out, dumped two cardboard boxes and then took off again before finally stopping for good, the CHP said.

The driver of the Suburban and a second SUV that was stopped in traffic were both taken into custody but the SUV that had tried to block the officer escaped, authorities said.

The cardboard boxes contained $915,000 in cash, and a police dog alerted to the odor of drugs on the money, authorities said.

I'm being completely honest that before I blogged this, I triple-checked to make sure this report is from today. Because it sounds like it's from about 2010. And I thought possibly it was one of those stories that weirdly echoes around the internet years later. Otherwise known as The Bloggers' Shame, if you're the sucker dumb enough to post it without checking the date. 

So, with that established, what the actual duck is going on that we've still got desperate criminals out making million dollar pot deals and throwing boxes of cash out the window in 2020? Wasn't this supposed to end as soon as the sticky green nasty was made legal from coast-to-coast? 

I'm being 100% serious. What I don't know about the interstate marijuana industry could fill a library. But at this point, isn't this like the Untouchables catching Prohibition Era gangsters smuggling booze in from Canada? I mean, there are cannabis shops in strip malls now. They were kept open during the lockdown as an essential business, fercrissakes. You can't get your hair cut and the cigar shops are all locked up tighter than a Scottish pay toilet. But you can get all the Lucifer's Cabbage you could possibly want. 

Again, I'll plead ignorance. But by now, isn't a group of guys with $915,000 in cash looking to purchase weed considered "potential investors"? Can't they just go to the CBD that just opened between the hardware store and H&R Block in my town and say "We would like to purchase a large amount of legal cannabis and gummies from you, my good sir," like they were buying ham at a deli. After all, getting the cops off the job of tracking these guys down in banjo music-fueled high speed chases was one of the things that sold us on the idea when we voted to legalize four years ago. It's almost like someone didn't get the word to these guys they could've kept the $915K in a nice, safe money market and used it to open their own shop. Either that or I learned nothing from "Narcos."