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MUST WATCH: Motorcycle-Riding Monkey Nearly Kidnaps A Baby While The Human's Parents Rip Heaters On A Porch

Everyone in this video is entirely too calm. My kids FREAK OUT when they see a fucking beetle. If a monkey came cruising through my neighborhood on a motorcycle and grabbed one of my children, dragged them like a doll down a lovely cobblestone pathway, and then tried turn my beloved into a new-aged Mowgli, I wouldn't be walking casually to the scene of the monkey crime. Id be in a full-on sprint. 

This kid might be an asshole though. None of the other kids even budged. 

They wanted that kid outta here and in the monkey kingdom. I bet that kid doesnt eat her fish sticks or vegetables. The other siblings catch shit for it because fucking Rebecca hates her peas and refuses to eat them. Her lack of pea eating gets the parents angry so they end up taking it out on all of the kids. When the monkey had little ole Rebecca by the arm, the other kids started dreaming of ice cream and movie nights because they all eat their peas. 

The monkey let go, though. And when he did, the dreams of ice cream and movie night was gone as well. 

Id like to think Rebecca's perspective on life will be different now that she was in the boney clutches of a monkey's paw. It wont though. She'll be thumbing her nose at peas in now time and deep down in the parent's gut, they wont say it aloud but it'll be there, they will wish that motorcycle riding moneky stole their child and replaced it with a hope of happy dinners. 

Now for some questions:

1. How can that monkey afford that motorcycle

2. where did it learn how to ride

3. how many times has this happened

4. where was the monkey's mask and why is he ignoring social distancing?