It's Florida Man Friday on Hard Factor News, where we celebrate those who have reached the coveted status of 'Florida Man', in and beyond the Sunshine State.
We've all made up an excuse to get out of class or work, whether it's faking sick, out of town, or a travel hiccup, and getting away with it isn't too difficult, as long as you keep it simple, short, and do it rarely.
One of the all time best is "Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to make it to class today as I've been up all night with a stomach ailment. Thank you in advance for understanding." Short and sweet and not too descriptive while still telling the reader that you've been shitting all night.
Two other huge keys are (1) NOT making the call while you're already at work or school, and (2) DON'T make it a felony.
Enter our newest Florida Man inductee.
Richard Hamilton (not the legendary Piston), a 36-year-old West Palm Beach man was unfortunately never informed of those very important rules and thankfully for that, he has made his way into the FMF record books.
Hamilton arrived at work last Thursday morning before 7 am, which is an outrageously early time for any job, and at this point, I don't blame him for what he did. But nonetheless, he got to work at the Wellington Water treatment center that morning where his construction crew had been assigned to renovate the plant. Once there, Hamilton was either feeling like shit from a night out on the town or he had a fight with the misses before leaving the house, and that led him to need the day off. Being at work already, his options were slim. He could go with the long bathroom break into telling his boss he has diarrhea or... he could call in a bomb threat.
Hamilton chose the latter.
The 911 operator reported the call around 7 am and authorities evacuated the plant soon after. Police discovered the call came from Hamilton's phone inside the plant and quickly detained him and searched his car and belongings. Hamilton immediately admitted that the threat was false and cited personal reasons for needing the day off.
Hamilton got his wish and right now all of his days are days off as he was promptly fired after his arrest. Hamilton faces charges of making a bomb threat during a national emergency and his bail was set at $10,000.
Get the full story covered on today's episode of Hard Factor News (and below) and hear more like it Monday - Friday.
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