NSFW: If You Thought the Viral Boob Smash Trend Was Hot, Wait Until You See the #ShampooChallenge

If you're reading this it's probably because you're a fan of the Boob Smash videos and a lover of all things tits. Me too. They're everyone's first Klean Kanteen. But let's face it, the Viral Boob Smash is over. That fantastic challenge had it's run and now it's time for it to tuck away and make room for the next big private-part themed internet photo competition. And this challenge happens to be one just for the men. (Sorry ladies.)

Gentlemen: Allow me to get you introduce you to the #ShampooChallenge. A mostly twitter based social media challenge that finally tilts the social media playing field in our direction. For them, getting four-figure likes on an IG post is as easy as a high-angle and a push-up bra. If one of us boyz wants more than 70 likes on a selfie it's got to have a celebrity or dead relative in it. 

Why is that? Are our bodies REALLY so much less visually appealing? I personally don't think that when the good lord made Adam & Eve he intended for one of his creature's genitals be deemed "sexy" and the other's to be met with thumbs-down emojis when sent unsolicited via text message. It's discrimination. We should be able to flaunt ours just like they so flippantly flaunt theirs. 

Luckily, it seems... the times... they are are changing. 

Now, I am the first English language writer to cover this challenge, so I am a bit ahead of the curve on this so to speak but this thing is about to just absolutely explode all over everythong and I thought it was important to give you guys a heads up on this trend early. 

Getting in on the challenge is easy, here's how you do it: 

  1. Grab your favorite bottle of shampoo or other dude grooming product. (Make sure the size of the bottle is somewhat proportional to the strength of your penis - this will be important later.)
  2. Get down to your boxer briefs; other underwear styles won't work.
  3. Generate erection. 
  4. Carefully balance the aforementioned bottle on your junk 
  5. Post to socials with #ShampooChallenge

Now you can just sit back and get ready for the wave of likes and DMs from thirsty chicks trying to holler at you. It's like reverse bumble. Showing off the strength/prowess of your most important muscle and your affinity for self care simultaneously is our version of bikini pics. 

Move over tits; time to make room for dicks to have a seat at the table. 

WARNING: Don't scroll down if you can't big up a fellow Bro when he's doing him and pioneering the dicks out movement.  

Check out the strength of this King supporting the Costco sized shampoo with his stuff. Impressive.

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This bro is playing the hand he was dealt and making it work. He's showing lots of heart here. 

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This unit reminding us that confidence is what women find most attractive. 

Someone get this guy his Girth Certificate.  

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Don't worry bro. We all fall down sometimes. You just gotta pick yourself, tomorrow is a new day.

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This pioneer is flipping the script and showing us side-saddle isn't the only way to ride while enjoying a cold beverage.  

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Talk about turning INCEL into INTEREST. 

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Dad Bods getting in on the action. 

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Love seeing how close and supportive these bros are to each other. Totally appreciation for exceptional balance.

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It feels so liberating to finally post the total thirst trap of a photo i've always wanted to and see how the other side lives. I encourage you to join the revolution. 

 

I'm sorry. 

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