We Need More Rollerblade Gangs In 2020. Plain And Simple
You know how certain people love to say "the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun"? Well the same rule applies to gangs.
If you're looking to put an end to gang violence in America, the quickest and most efficient way to get results would be to give all these guys a set of wheels. It has been proven with scientific research and data that it is impossible to be in a bad mood when you're going out for a rip with the boys. And if you ever run into any issues with a rival gang over some sort of turf war, all you have to do is grab some sticks and a puck and have yourselves a game about it. No need for guns when you can just go stick, gloves, shirt.
It just seems that somewhere along the lines of history, we have “advanced” past using rollerblades as a viable form of recreational group transportation. You can go to any city in America right now. You’ll see groups of kids riding bikes together. Heck, chances are these days you'll see groups of kids riding motorbikes and ATV's together. What you won’t see, however, are groups of kids rollerblading together around town as depicted in that scene from D2: The Mighty Ducks. And that is deeply troubling to me.
Still not sure why Charlie was wearing his helmet like a total knob but that's not the point.
The point is that it's time for everybody to stop lying to themselves and thinking there's something wrong with buzzing around the wheels as a practical form of transportation. The issue is that most people in the world are sheep. And as soon as that Funny or Die video came out saying "the hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents that you're gay", it was over for shredding with the squad. But the time is now to take it back. It's time for rollerblade gangs to pop up all around the nation. Be the change you wish to see in the world and lace 'em up with me.