Quarantine Cuts Are Getting Out Of Control

I absolutely love the ingenuity here. The local barber shop is closed because the pussy politicians are overstepping their constitutional authority and succumbing to mob media pressure. Smh. How are you supposed to be a TikTok Dick Wiggler if your hair looks like the fuzzy moss on the non-sunny side of a great red wood in the mountains of Northern California? Spoiler alert: you can’t.

So, you ask your buddy Rick to bring the old school sheep trimmers and give you the Riggs special. Next thing you know, you’re getting followed on tiktok and later fucked because of your clout on tiktok. Imagine that. Getting a little top action because your pal Rick gave you that flat top action. Incredible. Thanks, Rick.