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Lawyer Will Travel Around "Prematurely" Opened Florida Beaches, Dressed As The Grim Reaper, Reminding Everyone To Social Distance

A lawyer who gained national attention with his advocacy against privatizing Florida beaches is now working to keep those same beaches closed during the coronavirus pandemic — by wearing a Grim Reaper costume and warning beachgoers about the necessity of social distancing.

"I felt like something needed to be done, because they're moving very quickly to open beaches prematurely," Daniel Uhlfelder, a Santa Rosa Beach-based lawyer, told NBC News. "Wearing a Grim Reaper costume seems like a good way to send a signal that this is too fast and that we need to think seriously before we take that step."

Uhlfelder has spent the past several weeks advocating to close Florida beaches, and the Grim Reaper costume, which he will start wearing to beaches on May 1, is only the most eye-catching of those efforts......

I'll be the first to say it, this reopening of the beaches does seem a little premature. I don't really understand how opening the beaches will help out anyone besides the coronavirus. No one is benefitting from people sitting in some sand for a few hours in the middle of a global pandemic. 

Coronavirus is probably sitting on those beaches right now, rubbing it's grimey ass hands together in anticipation for these beaches to open. I get that it's been a real kick in the dick having to sit inside for so long but do people really need the Florida beaches that badly? The answer is a resounding no. A no on all accounts.

Sure. It may be a little hypocritical to call for all the beaches to be closed and then show up to those very same beaches, but that's beside the point. I think if this was literally anywhere else besides FLORIDA, USA we wouldn't be having this problem. In fact, how many other places are opening up their beaches? Oh right, no one. Who knows, maybe the Floridian government are just a bunch of trailblazers who see the vision.

Semantics aside, this is a pretty solid idea to keep people off the beaches. The Grim Reaper? Are you fucking kidding me? I see that guy anywhere I'm running the other way, regardless of who may or may not be inside the costume. I'm not taking any chances. I don't understand how anyone could possibly go to the beach, see this guy, and go about their business. Of course now - after his tweets went viral - people are probably going to go out for the sole purpose of seeing this man dressed as the Grim Reaper, defeating the whole purpose of the costume in the first place.

The thing that piques my interest is how he will behave in the costume. Will he be one of the boring protestors who just sit there with a sign and gets nothing done? Or will he play the part of the grim reaper? It would be all-time if this guy was just slowly walking around, scythe in hand, yelling at people to get off the beach. 

Based on my experience, individual encounters would be far more effective at getting people off the beach. Just walk right up to a beachgoer (staying 6 feet away, of course) and just start screaming at them. No chance those people will come back to the beach after that. It's the ultimate deterrent. If he just stood there with a sign, people would just cruise right past him, almost as if he didn't exist.

At the end of the day, it just seems pretty stupid that the beaches are being opened up right now. People are just itching to get off their house, I get that, but it doesn't mean we should rush the bounceback from the pandemic. It will come with time.

PS - I have an odd feeling this guy won't go through will all of this, maybe he just wanted the clout.

PPS - I won the "best costume" award for the ages 7-12 group back in 2010 when I absolutely MURDERED my grim reaper costume. One of the best costumes you'll ever see. If I could find the medal I won, I'd put in here. Sadly that was lost many, many years ago.