Chubby Girl Buys Knockoff Dress, Is Shocked When She Doesn't Look Like Jaimie Alexander
SOURCE – There is always a risk when buying clothes online – sometimes the fabric feels cheap, or the colour just doesn’t seem to match how it appeared on screen. Or the fit could be far less flattering in real life than online – as one woman has just discovered. The Chinese shopper bought a risqué black dress – which featured a full length sheer panel – from eCommerce site Taobao. The gown, a copy of one worn by Thor actress Jaimie Alexander at the film’s premiere in 2013, features top-to-bottom see-through panels on the front and back of the dress. The unsatisfied shopper posted comparison pictures on the seller’s page, showing how the dress revealed far more than she intended.
Ten pounds of shit, meet five pound bag. I mean, what does this lady think that she’s proving here? That she got ripped off? She didn’t. Matter of fact, she learned a very important, very valuable lesson: hot girl dresses are not for chubby chicks. You don’t like your body, don’t shove it into a dress that allows people to see an extra 30% of it. That may seem like common sense to most of us, but apparently some people need to see their tits mashed to pancakes and their gut testing the tensile strength at the seams of their new mosquito netting based number to figure it out.
This would never be an issue if this chick just had a little more self-awareness. Recognize your strengths, but more importantly recognize your own weaknesses. For example, I don’t order wings that are too hot because I know they burn my asshole on the way out, I don’t get into fights because I know I’m a pussy, and I don’t buy Magnum XL Trojans because I know they’ll fly off my dick if there’s a fan blowing at the right angle. I recognize those things, I accept them, and I don’t complain if ignoring that information has negative results. That’s you’ve never seen me post any pics online of my enflamed asshole after shitting out the remains of some Wings Over’s Jet Fuel wings, of my broken face after getting in a brawl, or of an extra three and a half inches of latex hanging off the end of my dick. If this girl did the same, her fat parts wouldn’t be all over the internet right now.
PS: Fun fact: Jaimie Alexander was Dennis’ 18-year-old prom date in the “Underage Drinking: A National Concern” episode of Always Sunny.
