Chip Kelly Finally Speaks And Is So Full Of Shit You Have To Respect It

That. Was. Fun.  The best press conference in this town since the infamous AI “Practice” jam session.  Believe me, take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt.  This is like the Godfather here, everything stays within the family.  But here’s what went down:

- A team offered a first round pick for Sam Bradford this morning and Chip said no.  Charlotte McKinney also once offered me a week’s worth of brumskis and balcuzzis in exchange for a pack of Skittles but I turned that down, too.

- He legitimately LAUGHED off the prospect of getting Marcus Mariota.  Legit hardy har har’d.  

- Says he gets along with Howie Roseman great, meanwhile we know Howie’s calling Chip an “Impossible Ego Dick”.

- The Bills leaked the Shady deal before Chip had a chance to talk to him.  He’s reached out to LeSean McCoy multiple times with his call going straight to VM and even tried through his agent Drew Rosenhaus.  No dice.

-  Chip Kelly didn’t move Howie Roseman’s office to storage.  Isn’t in charge of desks and seats in his new title.  

-  He didn’t have final say the past 2 years in the draft.  DOES NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MARCUS SMITH.  He will so this year.

- “We didn’t bring Sam (Bradford) in here to be a (trade) chip.”  Kelly’s pants promptly exploded into flames before stating “I’m the only Chip here.”  HARDOOOOOOOOOOOO.

-  On why he doesn’t talk to the press when roster moves are made.  “We didn’t speak when Jason Avant got released.” HOLY HARDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I love it.  This guy’s either a genius or a full fledged lunatic.  Probably both.  Keep those cards close to the vest, Chip, and do you.  Because in the end, it’s all on you.