The Online Dominatrix Business is BOOMING and I'm Looking for a New Hobby

I don't know about you, but with work, watching sports, and normal adulting, I have to confess, I've let my procrastination get the better of me. There are so many new, and valuable skills I tell myself I'm going to learn, and for some reason, I just can't seem to ever get myself to learn Mandarin, pursue my passion to become a Macrame artisan or shit, even learn how to bake a coconut cake that I can feed to my friends, or just binge eat solo. 

Do you see how dope those Macrame hangings are? BOHO chic! 

But with COVID comes opportunity. We can finally tie up all of those loose ends. We can finally learn those valuable skills. We can finally crack the whip and learn some fucking discipline. 

Turns out, it's not just me that's picking up some new trades in QT. With all of this uncertainty, the head can get a little fuzzy, distracted even. It can be hard to focus. People are looking for new tools to clear their heads, cope, and find new ways of bonding in isolation. And they've found just the thing to scratch that itch. 

According to an article in the Daily Beast (I know I know), Mistress Eva, a high-end Dominatrix remarks about a large uptick in sign-ups for her BDSM training course. 

[BIG EYE EMOJI] 

The world of BDSM, fetishes, and power dynamics are a comfort for many in the best of times. So it isn’t surprising to see people moving toward websites and services such as mine in times where they seek even greater levels of reassurance, understanding, and intimacy.

Ahh yes, Mistress Eva, just the woman we need to get us through this pandemic. Power dynamics are indeed exactly what I require at this time of isolation. 

Nothing says "I feel loved" quite like being professionally dominated at the whim of a stranger on the internet who derives pleasure from my suffering. 

Nothing says "safe" quite like "latex hoods, imprisoning others, and mummification (where you literally wrap someone up in different materials like an Egyptian mummy) amirite? 

Nothing says "I'm special" quite like paying $37.00 a month to learn how to wear down someone's will down until something, who knows what, just blows their resistance away. After all, Mistress Eva teaches valuable skills on how to make someone your slave that might just come in handy in the post-corona world. 

I mean, if we're stuck in quarantine, we should at least try and pick up a new hobby, right? 

I don't know about you, but this sounds like a much better use of money than a Rosetta Stone subscription. Shit, it might even be better than that comedy Master Class by Judd Apatow I've been meaning to take. 

With Erika focusing on mental health this week on her Token CEO podcast and showcasing new ways of remote-based psychological care, I wonder, DOES THIS fall into that category? Could I call up Blue Cross and see whether this falls into the mental health covered services in my PPO plan? 

By the way, does anyone have a good pattern for a Macrame ball gag?