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This OL Would Get A Quarterback MURDERED

Eddie is talking like this OL is Super Bowl Caliber. It would get a QB MURDERED and I'll get to why in a minute.  Let's backtrack first. Last week, Dente called out Lou Mal's for very figuratively front-dooring themselves into some free advertising:

But as is usual Dente, he didn't make the situation about himself. Not whatsoever. Like the leader of men he is, he put his employees first:

I thought I was included in the tweet because I'm one of Barstool's Chicago correspondents, but after giving the tweet a second read I realized he was lumping me in with the fat guys at the company. I gasped at my inclusion. Hey Dente! I ran the 2017 Bank of America Chicago Marathon in 5:25:32 you dick! You know how many offensive lineman have ever completed a marathon? That's right, zero. No fact checking needed.

Look, I was 5'9", 205 pounds with a pristine playoff mullet in my 2008 North Central College baseball program:

Sure, Glenny and Ed would be tanks at guard. Sure, Clem and Willie would stone even the best edges in the NFL at tackle. But one GLARING hole on the OL would be at center, and that glaring hole would be me. Yours truly, WSD, speed pitch extraordinaire. 

Is that who you want as the anchor on your OL? For sure not. That's someone you want clearing the whole for your RB. And that's exactly what I did, as I was the best fullback in the history of Wheaton football. Every hear of Wheaton? It's only the home town of The Galloping Ghost aka Red Grange. We have multiple players in the NFL as we speak, including a starting fullback for that scumbag team in northern Wisconsin, Dan Vitale. Sorry, but it's true Dan.

That and the last person I want touching my taint all day is Dente. That's just uncouth


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