The Barstool Sportsbook is LiveDownload and Play in PA Now

Man Breaks Into Restaurant To Eat, And Drink, And Chill For A Few Days

Louis Angel Ortiz was probably strolling around New Haven, CT last Saturday, pondering life and all its complexities when he realized he was hungry. And thirsty. And maybe a little chilly. He stopped, looked around, and froze at the sight of a window on the side of a restaurant. Endless possibilities immediately entered his mind, so he strolled on over to fulfill his destiny. (Source: NY POST)

Louis Angel Ortiz, 42, was arrested early Tuesday after allegedly pillaging a Cuban restaurant in downtown New Haven, where police believe he busted into Saturday through a side window.

Ortiz then proceeded to eat, drink or steal several thousand dollars worth of food and booze, including roughly 70 bottles of liquor, New Haven police said.

Ok, hear me out. Did Ortiz commit a crime? Absolutely. Should he have been arrested? Sure. Can't be walking around breaking into establishments and using them as our own personal oasis. 

BUT... we're not living under ordinary conditions. Maybe he lost his job and still hasn't received unemployment, preventing him from paying rent and buying food? Maybe he was too afraid to go to a shelter and catch COVID-19? Maybe he lost a loved one to the disease and just wanted to drown his sorrows? Maybe he was just stuffing his face to the fullest in order to build a reservoir of fat he could live off of later? And maybe he was planning on paying the restaurant back for all the food and drink he downed during his time of need?

“In addition to eating and drinking at the restaurant, Ortiz removed beverages and property from the building,” officials added.

Damn, dude. You almost had me! Up until that last line, I was prepared to show you a little compassion and empathy and tell myself that maybe you're experiencing a worst-case life scenario thanks to Corona. Maybe question the restaurant's claim that you consumed 70 bottles of liquor in about 3.5 days - a quantity even André the Giant (RIP) couldn't consume. 

But then I learned you took shit out of the restaurant. It wasn't enough to eat and drink like a king for 4 days, you just HAD to take bottles and property out of there! 

Come on man. That's just greedy.