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Coronavirus Will NOT Stop The Naked Cowboy


The Naked Cowboy, famous for performing with his guitar in New York's Times Square, is refusing to leave despite the coronavirus outbreak.

Although now adding a face mask to his outfit of hat, boots and white pants, Robert Burck, 49, insists it will take more than a global pandemic to stop him from entertaining crowds, even if they are smaller in lockdown.

Nothing can stop the almighty Naked Cowboy. He just needs to be out there, plain and simple. The people in those crowds - that totally exist - would have their day ruined if they couldn't see their favorite 40-year-old flashing his dick outline all over the place. Coronavirus stands no chance against this guy!

I genuinely don't think this guy understands whats going on. What "crowd" is he talking about? NYC is a literal ghost town right now. I think it's pretty safe to say people aren't lining up to see the Naked Cowboy right about now. 

He's gotta be one of those people who's still walking around comparing this to the flu. That's the only possible explanation. New flash, asshole, this thing is coming right for ya! For someone who just sits around taking pictures with people all day - in the epicenter for COVID-19 in the United States, no less - he would be a bit warier.

You don't see Elmo, Mickey, or any of the other Times Square characters out there trying to play fucking hero ball right now. Although, those characters rely on scamming people our of $20 for a picture and I'm not quite sure you could get many people to take a photo with those cretins, even if there wasn't a global pandemic going on right now.

Speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, he said: "I haven't missed one day in 20 years, six months and 28 days - unless I was travelling to be the Naked Cowboy in another city where the opportunity was bigger. 

"My decision to stay in Times Square during corona is no different than going out there every single day when it's 19 degrees or there's a blizzard or a rainstorm or a heatwave - doesn't matter."

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? This egomaniac must think the city depends on him or something. He's acting like he's the only one impacted by this when he brings up his stats (sidenote: absurd that he knows exactly how many days he's been going into "work"). I dont think he realizes that COVID-29 is bringing down the world. This is literally something unforeseen. It's almost like the Naked Cowboy is bigger than COVID-19. I bet he is expecting the response of:

"People must rally around the Naked Cowboy. He is a beacon of hope that shines through the darkness! He is the symbol that will bring us back to normalcy!"

Like get the fuck out of here bro, you're just a glorified bum people take pictures with. Get off the streets and stay inside you dumb bastard. 

While there is a small part of me that admires the dedication, is it worth it? You're telling me this guy sits out there in his underwear, in the middle of a blizzard? He literally doesn't even make money while sitting in times square, he just takes fucking pictures all day, strumming his little guitar like some kind of an asshole. I don't know, I think it'll be kinda funny the day he gets dragged off the streets because he's still out there, disregarding all quarantine procedures. 

PS- My biggest gripe with him is he's not even naked. His whole bit, the Naked Cowboy! Couldn't be less naked if he tried. That shattered my world when I was younger, not that I wanted to see a literal cowboy, I was just baffled at the prospect of a naked cowboy running around NYC like some mad man.