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PENGUIN WATCH UPDATE: Open Up The Gift Shop For Pete's Sake


For all the newcomers to Penguin Watch:

This is Penguin Watch Update blog #6 and as I've already said, I'll die before I get sick of blogging the Shedd Aquarium penguins on quarantine. Honestly and truly it's been one of the lone bright spots in an otherwise absolutely miserable and boring experience. Week 5 of quarantine about to be in the books and all we have as a population of guys to show for it is a 10-fold increase in crusty socks, stacked pizza boxes and mounting heartburn. Only difference between this and October is you won't go 3-8 this weekend betting college football so maybe there's a silver lining?

Here's another: the cutest penguin in the world (judges' decision) is out jumping around the Shedd. I mean if this doesn't get you going like Toy Story 3 then your childhood probably sucked. Not my fault. 

Elsewhere though I'm kinda salty the staff won't open up the doors and let him see just how much they've commercialized his image and likeness. This is his one chance and I feel like he should get it. Next question is do you think he's going to bitch about not getting a piece of the action like all these other NCAA crybabies? Absolutely not. He's going to take his room and board and go back to fucking work like a good captive animal because they don't need to be compensated for entertaining any of us. They're called Student Athletes for a reason guys wake up. Penguins are literally no different at all.